A Full Year

You have lived rent-free
for a full year 
I paid for you
I paid thoughts
I paid energy
I paid emotions
I paid tears
I asked you to stay either way
but now I regret it
I am consumed 
I thought it would be worth it
but it has been a full year 
I have been emptying myself 
for you to show up
You have consumed my prayers
You have taken so much time 

I am exhausted 
Yet you still don’t want to leave
Empty the room you have accommodated 
Empty it before I feel dead inside 
Before I feel hopeless 

Your image is hunting me
The way you looked at me
is buried deep in my veins 
always reminding me
of what’s it like 
for a dream to be true
You were a dream come true 

Pause that moment for me
so I could have kept you longer 
Longer than 20 minutes 
It was all it took
It was all it took to live in misery 
for a full year
It was all I took to keep reminding me
I would never move on

The room is at the back of my mind
I wish I could destroy it
but everything will be destroyed with it
because I have put all of me in it
While you are acting like a ghost

Pay or leave

You are torturing me
I thought I forgot 
but then I heard your knock on the door 
Oh, you still here
I ran to open
but all I saw was nothing 
I thought you were a ghost
but you became an idea 

A mere idea 
I can’t passionately hug
nor kiss
nor hold hands with

You are an idea
for how long it will be stuck to me
for how long it will continue raising the bar
for how long it will hinder me from moving on
You were imperfectly perfect
and everything I have ever asked god for

A Full Year

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Peaceful Creature.

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