Date: Dec 15th.
Place: A Cafe.
A Chilly day, People started to wear heavier clothes, Sweaters, and boots, but she decided to wear active clothes that day. Grey t-shirt, Jacket, leggings and black converse, they are the comfiest. She let her fringes hang free on her forehead, her wavy mid-length hair set free covering most of her back, put her laptop in her backpack, and went to the nearest cafe because she is the most productive there without so much distraction.
Busy day as always, all the tables were taken except for one. She took it, brought out her laptop, and started working.
She noticed a guy opening the front door; She did not know how many seconds left until she must take her eyes off of him, but despite him wearing a beanie; she was able to recognize him.
He was standing in the queue in front of the barista counter, which gave her a few more minutes to make sure that this was really him.
Eventually, she decided not to watch him for longer than this and went back to whatever she was doing on her laptop, but her mind was off to another place, that dark outfit, that over six feet tall, firm, steady body, and the halo which was placed all around him, it was the main thing that caught her attention; it did over a year and a half ago, and it did now too.
Her heart skipped a beat, but she acted cool when she noticed through the corner of her eyes he was approaching her table. He kept approaching until he asked her a question.
- Hello, is it okay to have a seat at your table? It is very busy today and I love having my coffee sitting down. (He said with a formal smile)
- Yes, sure you can.
- Are you sure I am not going to bother you?
- Not at all. (She said with a smile, innocent one)
He had a unique appearance when she first saw him it was easy for her to identify him when she saw him again. He was all black and white. Her most favorite colors.
It all started a year and a half ago, when she first saw him, and when he first saw her. Their halos crashed into each other. He entered her world, and she entered his. All happened in a matter of seconds while they walked past each other, but she was so nervous and unconfident to look into his eyes, she definitely regretted it.
The most remarkable thing she noticed back then in him was his white/silver hair.
When you were here beforeRadiohead – Creep.
Couldn’t look you in the eye
You’re just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
And I wish I was special
You’re so fuckin’ special
But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
Something inside her missed him already by the time he walked past and behind her. She no longer was seeing him. She resisted looking back to watch him.
Now, as he was sitting beside her on the same table, she retrieved that story back again inside her mind as she was looking at the street through the window, wondering if he felt what she felt.
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah!! (She looked at him in surprise)
- I guess we have met before. Well, it was not an actual meeting. To be accurate, I think I have seen you before.
A smile was put on her face again, not only a smile but a heart that refused to settle, pumping blood through her veins as fast as it could, a blushing face that she could not hide as he was telling her the same story she was retrieving in her mind seconds before he interrupted her.
She wanted to cry; she felt she is worthy again, (a stranger remembered her face more than a year ago. It is a miracle; she thought.) She trapped her tears inside of her eyes and again keeping acting cool.
- We walked past each other inside the store and my eyes laid on you; you were with someone. You were smiling. (but he did not mention that he also felt the sadness behind her smile)
- Do you have bleached light hair like silver or white?
- Yes!! (He smiled as he was taking off his beanie), no surprise I keep bleaching it. (The smile never disappeared from his face)
- You were wearing a black outfit.
- I have also seen you.
He seemed surprised. He did not think she also would notice him, because she never raised her eyes to meet his.
- But you have not even raised your eyes to look at me.
- You don’t have to look to see.
A moment of Silence broke their conversation, Just looking into each other’s eyes and letting their halos blend until it almost became a single one that contains both of them.
And that is how, when and where it all begins. She thought!
Then she finally broke the silence.
- That someone was my brother.
- Oh, good to know.
It was unnecessary to let him know whom she was with, but she wanted to. He did not seem interested in this.
It went silent again. He got busy with his coffee and she looked at her laptop screen to resume her work. She was enjoying his company even without a conversation. He felt like a shelter.
Questions popped up in her head as she was working, Will she see him again or better to wait for another coincidence? Does he feel a slight of anything? Is he right or wrong?
In the course of the following 20 minutes, he was between drinking his coffee and checking his phone.
- Well, thank you for letting me sit at your table, I highly appreciate it.
- No problem (A frustrated smile drawn on her face)
- Have a wonderful day, Bye!
She watched him as he was walking out and away from her. She resisted not to burst into tears, but she collected herself and accept whatever happened.
I want you to noticeRadiohead – Creep.
When I’m not around
You’re so fuckin’ special
I wish I was special.”
She went back to her laptop, acted as if nothing, nothing at all happened. She wondered about imagination and reality, and how harsh is reality compared to imagination. It is not always how it seems. Her mind tricked her to think there will be flowers for her. It let her think there would be a light at the end of the tunnel, but the end of the tunnel was in fact blocked.
In her imagination, it was how, where, and when it all begun, but in reality, it was how it ended before even starting.
She longed for friendship, a deep one. Male/female friendship, she did not long for love nor relationship, friendship to her seemed more stable it would be a friend who would truly care and be by your side in tough times and buy your gifts in happy ones. Love is so demanding, energy-draining whilst friendship is more effortless.
She saw in him a friend that could be a window for her to the world, who shows her fresh perspectives, who gives endless support, and stands by her side in tough times.
She hoped to be close to him, being his best friend and him her best friend.
She got so emotional at that moment, that she began to shiver not sure if it was because of what happened or because of the weather, it was not that cold, but she was freezing, and that is how you would feel if you become dead inside.
She put her laptop back in her bag and went out for a walk to heat her body a little. She could not help this time, but shed her first tear as an icy breeze hit her face.
I wish I was special. The Radiohead song rang in her mind. She wished she was special, but she was actually nothing but a creep.
She wiped it right away; she hid her frustration and went on; she did not know where she was going, but she found herself at the store where she first met him, wondering about him and about time. She wanted to go back to it and replay everything again. In her way, she would walk from another direction and never see him in the first place.
But that was harsh, like reality.
She thought even if she went back in time, she would want the same thing to happen because what she felt was heavenly. She went on and accepted the frustration and how it ended.
There is one thing that she kept wondering about. How anyone on earth could remember a face a year and a half later? Unless he had a concrete memory.