It was the time of your life when you hit rock bottom with your social life that you decided to download yet another social app, but this time, it was a dating app.
I have signed up to various applications in the past where they were only created to meet new people around the world, but not specified as dating apps.
I have met great and not-so-great people, but I have made nice friendships. Some ended and some we are still in contact till this very day.
Dating apps were out of the picture for me. It never came to me to download one, especially with hearing lots of horror stories till the point I thought the wonderful stories that people promote on the internet are fake just to advertise for the app.
But one day as I was hitting the rock bottom and was failing to find new people to talk with. I thought to finally download a dating app.
My intention was not to find the love of my life, because I believe you can’t find a lifetime partner by judging and swiping through lifeless pictures of people.
My intention was to simply find new people to talk with. Socialize!
I searched on google for the most popular apps; I downloaded the first one I spent a few hours on it but it felt so creepy to me, and I was not comfortable at all, but I thought to push myself and look for an alternative till I found Bumble.
I deleted my account on the first app because it just did not feel alright to me despite the excellent reviews.
Bumble seemed more appealing, with nice people too (well judging from their pictures) I spent hours on it on the first day, I remembered my screen time that day was an all-time high, but I was extremely picky at the beginning I kept swiping left and left I rarely swiped right, I matched with some and was swiped left by the others.
Boom! You have a new match!
I found out that women have to make the first move. At first, I thought it was a pretty cool feature to protect women from unwanted pictures or words.
But If there is protection against harassment, why not censor sensitive photos or warn/prevent the user from sending inappropriate words?
When I googled the reason why women have to text first, I found an article for the CEO of bumble that she made this feature to encourage women to make the first move, and lift this burden of men’s shoulders.
I was like… Is this really the reason?
In that case, men have the right to make the first move too. Lots of men have a fear of rejection. Why not encourage them as well?
What if I don’t want to make the first move?
She continued and said it was not about aggression.
Well, no, it is not. You just don’t give us the choice. As a woman myself, you don’t give me the choice.
I believe both sides get to choose and deserve fair chances. Their rules are not for me (one of the reasons why I did not stay there for long) but anyway, this is a subject for another article.
So I kept texting people first. It was fine by me, at first. But as time goes by, it was very draining to always do the first move, especially was too many people in a small period.
I did not get past the first conversation with most people. The day ended, and it felt pointless to restart a conversation with them again.
Others did not get past the Hi Hi stage.
The remaining people are those whom we talked to on a regular basis, kept checking and talking. It was pretty nice to be able to live outside the bubble.
The more time I spent the more I realized that the dating apps are kinda not my thing, because I kept getting asked about my photos and why I don’t have clear ones (I really don’t have a clear one even on my camera roll). Besides being so picky for no apparent reasons (Well, I begun to loosen up but still…).
Until I have reached the end.
“That is everyone,” the app said.
Few days passed by and I felt drained. I had zero energy left. Not only because I spent so much time on my phone but I had a bad feeling that was hard to snap out of it, I had a knees issue which stopped me from working out, also with some downs at my work, I felt so drained and awful; I spent some days sleeping all day just to avoid my feelings and the disappointments I felt.
But by spending so much time on Bumble, I learned that you can find people whom you can connect with on a deeper level, also people who will never find you appealing despite the fact that they seem appealing to you.
People whom you will want to talk with and connect with them, but they don’t want the same.
And finally, the ones whom you connect with and asked to meet you.
I was not prepared for this, which is ironic. How come I did not know this was coming?
“I am not ready to see you in real life,” I thought to myself every time someone asked to meet.
It happened on a few occasions, and I expressed that I can’t do that now.
It is either because I have way too many mental blocks or I just have a lot to deal with and I better focus. It is an overwhelming ocean inside of me that will never reach an end.
I started to spend less time on the app, then removed all of my pictures except for one, then I deleted the app, especially after I received a hookup invitation, I felt so disgusted so it encouraged me to delete the application but not the account because I had friends there and did not want to lose them…Well…
I felt the urge to get back inside my bubble again, which I did. I am not sure of how healthy or how unhealthy this is, but in time I thought I want to meet new people. I realized that I was not mentally prepared for it.
How about you? Have you ever used a dating app? if yes, how was your experience?