There is a confession I want to make, not trying to sound dramatic with the word confession, but since I have started it, I made sure very few people knew just for my privacy sake, but now I feel comfortable to say out loud that I go to therapy.
Everyone does nowadays, right? It is becoming the new norm, which is a great thing, so why I am making it a big deal with dedicating an entire article on my birthday to the concept?
Because I was thinking the whole time that I am fine, and even if I struggled, I still could manage it on my own.
Which turned out that I get it all wrong.
I was firstly inspired by Zoe Sugg, who constantly speaks about her therapy session, her doctor, and how important is it to her.
And I always think, why Zoe Sugg herself is making therapy such an important and vital part of her life? Why could not she manage on her own as I do?
Like I do…
But she was my first inspiration towards thinking of therapy.
Instagram recently has introduced reels, and some of the reels that crossed my scrolling habit, were reels for licensed therapists, I was hocked, and thought, wow I knew nothing, or I did not know that this is an issue, or oh does this called that, or OMG am I that type of person, is people around me are those kinds of people?
I begin my journey of (I knew nothing and apparently it is not something I can manage it on my own)
Life went on, then I have put into three of the toughest situations in life, I was left devastated, full of guilt, and shame, thinking that I am the worst person on the planet, I was always the wrong person in people’s eyes.
I faced myself and said “I need help.”
I spoke to two of my closest friends and my mother told them I am thinking of starting therapy, and the answer was what I was expecting they all supported the idea and encouraged me to begin.
I was searching in few places and then I came across an ad that was all over Facebook, Instagram. A website that basically offers online therapy sessions with licensed therapists.
I thought taking therapy online was convenient, especially at the beginning as I was very nervous and still was not sure if it was a good decision, but in the end, I did it.
I sign up to a doctor that has loads of excellent reviews and all patients have only positive feedback for her.
In my first session with her, I opened up to things that I don’t or rarely talk about anymore mostly related to my childhood, I almost cried but I tried to keep it together, by then I realized how much of weight I carry on my shoulder without even being aware.
After it, I felt relief; I felt I made a step in the right direction; I felt healed from whatever was bothering me. And I realized that opening up to a therapist differs from opening up to your family member or even your friends for two reasons:
- The therapist is a professional that will only give you answers based on sciences and researches and not based on personal experiences or tendencies.
- Conversations with friends or a family member are back and forth, which means you will talk about your issues, and they will listen to you and give you the best answer they could or sometimes they will be just there for you and that it is totally outstanding, and supportive, You will also have to listen to them and be there whenever they need. And I am glad that I am in a position where I’m able to listen to people I love and be there for them in good and sad moments. But there is a signal sign of joy when you talk to a therapist and knowing that you are their job, which means you will not have to listen to them or be there for them, you may think it is selfish, but for me, it just gives a sense of comfort knowing that I will talk and I don’t have to do anything in return,
Along with my therapy, I listened to self-improvement books on audible, both together helped me understand the world and myself on a whole different level, I understood my behavior and other people’s behaviors.
I have gone a long way but the more I walk the more I know that I still have a lot to learn and a lot more space to improve.
I will open up about one thing I was struggling with which was adulthood, I tended to be so nostalgic about my childhood with no responsibilities or concerns; I craved the times when I was tiny and care free.
I came across one of the Reels for Nadia Addesi. She was holding an apple that resembles adulthood and a bar of chocolate which resembles childhood; she said that we often struggle with adulthood because we want the apple to taste like chocolate sweet and soft, but we forget that the apple has a special shape and a taste, it does not taste like chocolate but it has an enjoyable taste like chocolate, so why don’t we just accept the apple as it is?
My thinking of adulthood shifted, and I began looking at it with a new, different perspective. I look at responsibility as not a form of stress but as something that without it I won’t be able to be independent, I would not have been able to behave in certain circumstances, I would not have been able to grow as a person.
I opened up to my therapist about this story and she told me I agree with her 100% percent but don’t forget you still can taste the chocolate too; I asked how? She said the child in me is still there, still alive inside of me don’t try to hide it just because you have the apple now, don’t forget that you still have the chocolate in the other hand.
Go and enjoy and do the things you used to do as a kid, unleash and don’t suppress your inner child.
I was like waoh.