Working for Myself is a Blessing Despite The Curses

We as human beings are created to work. Working for money, working on the things we love, working on ourselves, and working to achieve our goals. In the end, we must work on something for something. That is how life goes on. And if we don’t work, we are most likely to lose the sense of it.

Despite that working is a challenging thing to do on a daily basis, we keep on getting up and do it every day and put in the effort for getting a reward or making a dream come true or it could be as simple as earning that salary by the end of the month.

Unfortunately, some lose themselves in this process. When working especially for the sake of money, that is when jobs become toxic. That is when money owns us. We go in circles every day. Wake up, go to work, hate it, and then hate it some more for 30 days, then you get your salary, excited for few days, wake up again, go to work, hate it, and hate it. Endless circle.

Yes, we are here to work, but we are not designed to hate what we do or to lose who we are.

I was and still fully aware of this; I want my work to be a part of me, not a burden on my shoulders.

After graduation, some of my friends got hired in different jobs. Few of them loved them, and I was glad to hear this, especially after hearing all the hate and complaints from other friends about their work routine and their bosses.

I am fortunate because I never get to work for or on something I don’t love, I never get to complain or hate. Even during school and college, I have always studied what I love.

In 2014, after several tries and failures, I legit started my business, I did not have to look for a job nor attend interviews. Because my mind always refuses to work for someone rather than myself.

Working for myself is a big blessing, but I used to think it can be a curse.

First, I may sit on my laptop for HOURS without even feeling the time. Then I realized that the entire day passed. No time limits. It is not like a regular daily job routine when work is from 8 am to 4 pm.

On the other hand, there are days when there is nothing to do, I am just on my computer checking stats and analytics. These days feel long and empty. That is when I overthink, question and doubt what I do.

Second, it is a lonely job; I miss seeing and interacting with new people daily. If you have your own business, especially an online-based business, it is very easy to feel lonesome.

Though I am an introvert, I need a connection. We are social creatures; we are always in need of interacting to survive, even for once now and then.

Another problem I always face is how people see my job since it is me only with my laptop at home, people don’t believe that this is an actual job. I don’t have similar stories like them. 

“I was late for work today, I am about to get a promotion, I met new people today, I was about to get fired, my interview went well, et cetera.” 

Most of the time I feel discouraged to talk about my work, especially with knowing that they won’t understand. And if I talked, they doubted me and what I do.

“You better look for a job.” They Said.

I believed them.

“They could be right.” I told myself.

I got lonely; I doubted myself; I was mentally broken down and working always at home did not help me. I went to look for a job.

I applied online for cabin crew jobs. I was not expecting anything, an email, nor a call.

But I got a call from one company I applied for. They scheduled me for an interview.

I was excited about it because I was looking for approval about myself, an appreciation, and for people who think I am good enough. 

That is weird.

It is weird because you will never get satisfied seeking those feelings from external sources, these feelings have to come from within yourself.

My excitement vanished by the time I asked myself, Do I really want this job? What about my business? I might not have the time to manage all that at once. This would only bring more stress into my life.

I attended the interview, but my performance was atrocious, as I did not show any interest in the company. Besides that, I told the recruiters I have my business.

They did not like that.

After I finished, I went for a walk; I thought again.

What if despite my week performance I got accepted?

I don’t want this Job.

In the following day, I received an email. They have put me on hold for future opportunities.

Despite that rejection was cruel, I was aware of the experience that God put me through. He made me undergoes through this for a reason; he wanted to teach me a lesson to know what is really matters to me, not to give a fu*k about what people think, and to be aware of myself and what I really want to do in my life.

I found myself back on track, and I realized that I would rather face difficulties doing the things I love than doing things I don’t enjoy. And I love my Environmental Business and I enjoy working for myself and grateful for the people whom I work with.

As you can tell, I started to focus on the blessing and the advantages of being my own boss.

One big advantaging that is worth mentioning is that I have full control of my routine, I can work at night or in the morning, I can work at home or bring my laptop with me anywhere just to mix places up, I can still practice my hobbies, and if I want to go or travel anywhere, I will with no limitations.

I no longer complain about the curses because I am embracing what I love.

TO SUM UP

Shifting my mindset helped me to have peace within myself regarding my career, also learning to accept that everything comes with CHALLENGES, NOT CURSES.