I knew you were not happy. I knew it was challenging for you. I knew the situation was too much for you to bear.
I knew you wanted to do your best, but you were unable to. I knew everything, but I wanted to hold onto you, but you have left.
I blame no one, don’t blame you, nor I blame myself. It is the risk we take when we open up to someone, according to what you always used to say. It is the price of the risk we take that we have to pay.
Lasted for a long time or short, life happens and we should cope with it and accept it. That was my approach after you have left.
I did not cry, I did not panic, nor I felt lonely, which is strange to me, but because I knew you are better without me and that you now feel good.
I accepted it, moved on.
But now, It is hitting me.
I need you by my side, I must not feel this way.
I was watching a movie, it was full of policemen, they reminded me of you, and I instantly felt like crying. Because I realized how big my loss is and how tough the circumstances were.
The more I go through tough times, the more I get affected by your absence. Because you were always there giving me endless support whenever I needed it.
I picked up my phone in desperation to see if you have texted something to see if I am okay, but my last text to you was still left unseen.
I thought of sending you another text, but I stepped back.
Because It hurts to be neglected by someone who used to mean everything to you.
I begin to be aware of how lonely and how scared I have become. It is not because of you but you used to make me feel better about these issues.
I feel naked in this world, and I must standalone and go through it all on my own. Apparently, this is how life works.
There is no turning back now. Nothing has worked between us the way I was hoping for, maybe I was too romantic about it and forgot about the practical part.
But it was a love I will always remember, a love that left a sparkling mark on my heart, it was the best, and everything I was always longing to have, but a part of me was always telling me it would not last for long.
Now, I should accept that whatever happens, happens for the best. We are responsible and in control of every decision we take, good memories are the only thing we should keep, and with you, it was nothing but great memories.
Deep inside, I believe that the separation was the best option. It is tough but it is tougher when you hold to someone that is not meant to be for you.
After You Have Left For The Third Time (Feelings After A breakup) Part 2.